Roads: Chapter 42

Title: Roads
Chapter: 42 of 43
Author: Sheryl
Rating: R
Other Info: Sequel to Walls
Warnings: Drug-usage, cursing, violence etc
Excerpt: Taylor didn’t raise his eyes from Zac’s sleeping face. So much peace there. Had he ever felt like that? He had to have. He knew he had. God he loved him, how could he have hurt him? Sighing bitterly, he ran his fingers through the boy’s hair. “I love you so much, I never meant to hurt you.”
He didn’t see the eyes fastened on him. “It wasn’t even you I saw, Zac.”
He sighed again, that bitter, hopeless breath, and finally looked up.
“I never even saw him, do you know that? Until right at the end, I didn’t even know it was him. None of you ever understood.” His tone became scornful, faintly accusing. “You told me it was safe. How come you told me it was safe?!” His voice rose a little, but the hand stroking Zac’s hair stayed gentle.
“How come none of you were there to stop him?! WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE TO HELP ME?!”

Chapter 42

Taylor watched, nerves strangely calm, as CC settled himself on the floor at his feet. These were his people here. His family, his friends, and they were here to listen. He loved these people, they loved him. Yet he felt nothing. Why didn’t he feel anything then? There was no love, no fear, no appreciation, nothing. Numb apathy, and no idea what words to say. Eyeing CC, he shrugged.
“Ceec, I don’t know what to do.”
CC nodded. “I know. Sit back for a few minutes.”
Taylor did, resting back, hand stroking Zac’s hair, as he listened to this man who claimed he could help him.

Taylor didn’t raise his eyes from Zac’s sleeping face. So much peace there. Had he ever felt like that? He had to have. He knew he had. God he loved him, how could he have hurt him? Sighing bitterly, he ran his fingers through the boy’s hair. “I love you so much, I never meant to hurt you.”
He didn’t see the eyes fastened on him. “It wasn’t even you I saw, Zac.”
He sighed again, that bitter, hopeless breath, and finally looked up.
“I never even saw him, do you know that? Until right at the end, I didn’t even know it was him. None of you ever understood.” His tone became scornful, faintly accusing. “You told me it was safe. How come you told me it was safe?!” His voice rose a little, but the hand stroking Zac’s hair stayed gentle.
“How come none of you were there to stop him?! WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE TO HELP ME?!”
Tiffany jumped at the shout, and CC heard Diana gasp. Nobody answered, and Taylor caught his breath, alarmed at his own outburst, struggling to stay rational. “I have to tell you, I have to make you see what happened to me. I don’t even understand it, I don’t know why it’s doing this to me.” He stopped again, words backing up like a log jam in his throat. “CC, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start.”
“How about at the beginning Tay? Just tell them what you’re talking about. Tell them what happened.”
Taylor nodded, eyes closed, sending a mental prayer heavenward.
God, help me…” He opened his eyes again, looking down at Zac. Safe there. He sat for a few moments, not sure he could do it, not sure he could bring himself to say it. Glancing final time at CC, who nodded almost imperceptibly, he jumped in. Voice bleak, and barely audible, Taylor began to tell them.

“The man in the park. It was the man in the park.” He took a breath, and his eyes drifted to the ceiling, as he slipped back into the past. “We spent the whole day in the park, with all those people, and that one guy, you remember him.” His stare was pointed. He wasn’t asking. “That one guy, the creepy one. The one that wouldn’t stop looking at me. I wanted to go back to the hotel, he scared me. I told you that.”
Eyes on Walker, accusing and hurt. “You told me it was safe, you ALWAYS told me it was safe! I believed you. Even when he tried to separate us, even after you told us to stay away from him because of the way he was staring, when we were wrestling and my shirt came up, and he did that thing… even then, you told me it was safe. “Just stay together, don’t go off alone, it’s fine””
His voice broke, and CC got up quietly, slipping back in again a moment later with a glass of water. Taylor accepted it wordlessly, staring at his father.
“That guy saw my shirt come up and grabbed himself, and you told me it was okay! And I believed you. You’re my dad, I believed you. I did what you said. I kept on working, and I stayed with you all. You told me he was gone.”
His voice had taken on some strain, and Diana eyed the hand stroking Zac’s hair nervously. Spotting her, Taylor sat forward suddenly, all but spitting the words out. “I’m not gonna hurt him! Get over it, I’m not gonna hurt him!”
Sitting back, his eyes slid back to Walker.
“It wasn’t my fault, I got dressed before they did. All I did was go wait outside the trailer. You told me he was gone. Do you know what he did? Do any of you know, or care, what he did to me?!” He paused again, memory beginning to crowd him, replacing reality. Afraid, so afraid. That couldn’t happen again. “I was sitting there, drinking a coke… and he came back. He sat down next to me, and he…” He swallowed suddenly, nausea sweeping up his throat.
“He kept rubbing my leg, trying to get his hand in here… I kept pushing him away, and trying to get up, but he had his other hand here…” He touched the back of his neck, shuddering.
“He had my hair, I couldn’t get away. He told me I was more photogenic then they were, that I was ruining my career hanging around with them, that they were losers. He told me he’d show me, if I just went with him. I told him no, I told him to get away. None of you came out!!! Where were you while this guy had his hands all over me and I couldn’t get away?! Dad… you told me it was safe. And even when he was sitting there, making me sick, making me hate myself for not running, for being a coward, even then, you never came. He had his hand up in my hair. Every time I tried to pull away, half my hair came out. It hurt, so much… And I was so scared, and I hated what he was doing, he had his hand’s all over me. He stood up, and he had my neck, I couldn’t get away. He was going to take me with him! Do you understand?! He was right in my ear, whispering to me, telling me what he was gonna do, and I COULDN’T GET AWAY FROM HIM! Jay came out and saw him trying to drag me off the bench. He yelled and the guy took off. While he had me by the neck, he stuck something to me. I don’t even remember the rest of the day. I know I got sick. And I know someone told me to get used to it. “You’re a good looking kid, you have to expect to get groped” Oh. Oh. NO! He had his hands all OVER me! He DRUGGED me, and you made me work!!! I don’t even remember doing it! Zac, you have to get up! I’m gonna be sick, you have to let me up!”
“Taylor!” Taylor’s head swung around eyes boring into CC’s. “You’re not gonna be sick, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t run from this now…”
Taylor stared for a moment, and then his gaze shot to his father.
“I don’t even know how much of it was real! He drugged me! They took me from the hospital, right to work! I got so sick, and they made me go! I was so scared, why didn’t you do something about it?!?!” His gaze turned on Walker. “Why didn’t you help me?!” He took a breath, looked down at Zac, and made a conscious effort to stop shouting. “Dad, you told us all of it was safe. Nobody told us we’d get our hair ripped out, and our clothes torn off. Nobody told us we’d be so lonely! That we’d have nobody to talk to but each other! Nobody told us our friends would leave, and we wouldn’t be able to talk to any of the kids who came to see us play, because they’d hurt us. Nobody told us we’d need security everywhere we go, and that we couldn’t ever, ever, ever go anywhere alone! Nobody told us people would want to kidnap us, or that grown men would want to fuck with us! Nobody told us! All you said was “It’s totally safe, we’ll all be together.” Right. Chris yelled at Zac that time, remember? For running out ahead? Made him cry? Because he told him “You can’t ever run out like that, do you want someone to shoot you?!” Shoot him!! Every day we leave the house we’re taking our lives in our hands and nobody even cares!! “Here, take this pill, you’ll feel better” I don’t feel better. Nothing made me feel better. Don’t you understand what was happening? I was dying?! I threw up everything I ate, I never slept without waking up screaming?! And what did you do? You handed me a pill and said Here, take this. Then you handed me another one to undo what the first one did. You drugged me just like he did. To make me do what you wanted me to do, you’re no better than that pervert in the park.”
Zac winced, and pulled away from his brother, curling up against the opposite arm of the couch. Silence held sway for a few moments, and looking around, CC knew this was it. That had pretty much been the last straw. They’d taken a lot. Reaching for the pack in his pocket, he shook one out, eyeing faces as he lit it, mentally counting down from ten.
On six, all hell broke loose.

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This fictional story is hosted at The Gifted Ones,
with permission from the author, Sheryl.

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