Roads: Chapter 7

Title: Roads
Chapter: 7 of 43
Author: Sheryl
Rating: R
Other Info: Sequel to Walls
Warnings: Drug-usage, cursing, violence etc
Excerpt: He’d wanted to talk, he wanted to tell her, that he was tired, and scared, and confused, and afraid he’d lost his mind forever. That he sat around and did nothing because he couldn’t seem to focus on anything long enough to function. that he couldn’t remember anything. That he couldn’t sleep. That he was sick all the time. That he was still so horrified by what he’d done to Zac, that he could barely stand himself. About the man in the hospital, and what he’d been told.
But he couldn’t.

Chapter 7

Taylor’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. His nerves were too fired up for sleep. This whole thing had been horrible. He couldn’t believe she’d made him go there with her, and then to bully him like that!! She’d never been like that, never. He and his mom had always gelled. She’d always just clicked into whatever wavelength he was on, he’d never had to deal with her “not understanding” him. At least not until today. He’d felt so bad, more than once he’d had to actually hold on to the table to stop himself just jumping up and taking off out of there.
He’d desperately wanted not to make a scene, but it had been terrible.
Everyone seemed to have been looking at him. He knew they weren’t, but God help him, it was all he could do not to run. Added to that was the pressure she was putting on him to order food. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t decide, he couldn’t think! How could he pick something from a menu when he couldn’t even keep a thought in his head for more than 2 seconds. Besides food made him throw up. That was the last thing he needed, to get sick in public. Or in front of her. He’d caught himself nibbling on French fries, and was regretting it now. He just hoped he’d make it home. And she’d wanted him to talk to her!! Amazing, she just didn’t seem to see what was happening.
He’d wanted to talk, he wanted to tell her, that he was tired, and scared, and confused, and afraid he’d lost his mind forever. That he sat around and did nothing because he couldn’t seem to focus on anything long enough to function. that he couldn’t remember anything. That he couldn’t sleep. That he was sick all the time. That he was still so horrified by what he’d done to Zac, that he could barely stand himself. About the man in the hospital, and what he’d been told.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t pull the words together. Every so often his mind would clear, and he’d get something out that made sense, but nine times out of ten, he lost the thread and had to fight to get it back.
By the time she finally decided to stop, he was too exhausted to do anything but grunt. Between the struggle just to stay there, and sitting, to not shout or cry or make any kind of scene, and the effort to figure out what she was talking about, and what he should say, he’d completely destroyed any reserves he had. He was exhausted, physically from the continuous adrenaline rush that had begun as soon as he’d walked through the door, and emotionally from the strain of holding himself together. The thought occurred to him, that for all his struggling, he hadn’t done that good a job. He’d still managed to make a scene.
Sighing, he turned a little, trying to get comfortable. He felt her hand then, warm on his own, and smiled a little. It still felt like she loved him. He wished with all his heart that he was sure. The words he’d heard in the hospital, cycled around in his head, the words that made him so unsure, the words that, ironically enough, he wanted to forget, but couldn’t, a secret fear deep around his heart, paralyzing him.

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This fictional story is hosted at The Gifted Ones,
with permission from the author, Sheryl.

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