Second Thoughts
(Revised version)
by Leslie

Twenty-two year old Taylor Hanson stared blankly out the window at his wife sitting in the front porch swing. Three years had passed since he and his brothers had come off the bus from another tour. His little Ezra was not so "little" anymore. He was two-years-old now, almost three and a big brother at that. He and his wife Natalie were looking forward to sharing another anniversary just like they had the last two: together.

The brothers' new album Underneath was finally released on March 30, 2004. The sixteen songs the boys had written, including the one Taylor had dedicated to his beloved Natalie, had been recorded on that record. He didn't regret stopping the tours because it gave him more time to think, and most importantly, more time for him to spend with his growing family. He was an uncle himself now, as well as a father, for his brother Isaac and sister-in-law Kellie had had two children within the past two years, Madeline Grace and Clarke David. He was proud of his family and in love with his wife, even after many of his fans would stop at nothing to do their best to make him hate her. His younger brother, Zac was now getting married to the girl he'd been seeing for the previous three years. He and Hailey were planning the wedding just after he'd proposed.

"Taylor?" Natalie appeared in from behind him, wrapping her arms around his body. "Are you ok?" He turned around, staring into her dark brown eyes. To him she definitely was "Crazy Beautiful" and he still wanted to share that with the world and his fans.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Is Natalia asleep yet?"
His wife smiled and kissed his lips, before turning to leave the room. "No." She said with a laugh. "She's been up since seven this morning." Taylor grins and watches as little boy walks toward him with his little arms clutched onto his stuffed honey-loving bear.
"Daddy, when Natty wakes up, can I hold her?" Taylor bent down to his son's eye level and smoothed down his light blonde hair.
"Maybe. But you'll have to put Pooh back in your room before you hold her, buddy." Ezra laughed and ran toward his bedroom.
"Okay! Whoooo!"

Natalie stood in the hallway with 4½-month-old Natalia cradled in her arms. Taylor walked toward his wife and kissed her forehead, then kissed his baby girl on her tiny nose.
"Hi, sweetie." He whispered. "How's my little girl doing?" He smiled as Natalia lifted her tiny hand to hold his finger.
"She looks just like you, Tay." He smiled at his wife again.
"So does Ezra."
"I wonder what Ike and Zac are up to."

"Is Kellie Hanson there?" Isaac said into the phone.
The woman on the other end of the line sounded puzzled.
"There is no Kellie Hanson here. There's a Kellie Reynolds-Hanson, though, sir."
Isaac sighed and sometimes he wished Kellie had taken only his last name, but she had insisted on "keeping hold of her family's roots" so Ike didn't have the heart argue about it.
"That's her."
"One minute."

Finally he heard his wife's gentle voice echo into the receiver.
"Hi, babe. How is everybody?"
"Maddie's asleep in her crib and Davie's watching television in the living room. When are you coming home?"
Kellie sighed, upset that she wouldn't be home until early morning. Her job as a professional photographer was finally taking its toll on family time.
"Not until three tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, Ike."

He smiled. There's no way he could be mad at her for liking the work she did to support their family. Isaac wasn't gone all the time anymore as well, and whenever he and his younger brothers would go to the studio or their record producing co. building, she, Madeline and David would go with him and enjoy the music.

"That's all right, Kell. Just call me when you get ready to come home." He told her. "I'll be up until then."
Kellie sighed, wishing she could be there with her family.
"Ok. I'll talk to you later." Isaac swallowed hard.
"Ok. See you when get here, then."
She wanted to cry; to give up the dream job she'd worked so hard to get and she didn't care anymore.
"Ok. Bye."

With two final words, Kellie hung up the phone and went back to work: doing a photo shoot for a newlywed couple, hoping the pictures would turn out good.
Within the past three years, to her, it seemed like her marriage was finally crumbling. No, it wasn't because of his fans or the press. It was her job doing the devil's work this time.

"Zachary?" A young girl appeared in his doorway at just about noon the next day. Zac stared at the girl with green eyes and honey colored hair looking right back at him. Hailey Victoria, the girl of his dreams and who would soon be his wife. His brothers were both already married with kids, Taylor, who was the first of the three brothers to marry had wed his high school sweetheart, Natalie Bryant, at just nineteen-years-old and became the father to little Jordan later that same year. Isaac had waited until he was at least twenty-three, the same age Taylor was now, to ask Kellie to marry him, even though they'd been together for almost five years. Just over a year and a half ago, they had their first child, little Clarke. Zac had always been considered by Hanson's fans as "the youngest" although most of them knew he had four younger siblings at home. Now living on his own, and after a lot of thought, he and Hailey wanted to get their own place and settle down.

"You rang?" He asked with crooked smile.
Hailey laughed and threw her arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I missed you."
"I missed you, too."

Zac wondered if any of their fans cared about his and his brothers' personal lives anymore. When Taylor and Natalie married, everyone cared; one fan even took her own life over the fact. If his fans didn't care, he was happy to hear that, knowing that if they didn't, the press wouldn't either so they'd have more family privacy than ever before. Zac had wanted to protect Hailey from the rough times that he'd had to go through since age 11 when Hanson became famous and now he finally could.

"Did you talk to Natalie yet about the plans?"
He nodded. "Yeah. She said the outside area would be fine for the reception."
"Ok. Now we just need to call the caterer." He said with a laugh.
She grinned. "We could always call Taylor and see what he can do."

They both laughed, knowing that his brother would never feel up to doing what his wife had always enjoyed. The only time Zac could ever remember Taylor taking part in any type of wedding plans was with his own three and half years ago.

"Hailey, come on. You know my brother would never fall for that. Trust me, I had to put up with him for sixteen and half years before he moved out. He might be crazy, but he's not stupid."

Hailey laughed. Her life had seemed to brighten up ever since she and Zac met at a downtown club in New York City while Hanson was on their This Time Around Tour back in 2000. They had only been seeing each other for not quite three years, but Hailey's mind, that was a lifetime.

"I know he won't, Zac. I was just kidding anyway. What's with you today? You seem jumpy."

Zac knew she was right, but as all grooms-to-be are, he was nervous, nervous about becoming a husband and nervous about becoming a father to his own children one day, but not now. Not after he saw what his brother and sister-in-law had to go through. It was a happy time for them, yet sad to him because he was always afraid it wouldn't last very long, but three years had passed since then so he stopped worrying about it.

Hailey sat down on the sofa next to him and took his hand in her own.
"Hey. What's wrong?"
He smiled. "I'm just nervous, that's all." He said with a quiet laugh.
"That's what I thought."
He nodded. "Are you?"
Hailey smiled back. "A little."
They both laughed.
"I think your sisters are a little more nervous about it than we are, Hailes."

Hailey Victoria Jamison was the second youngest of ten siblings, only four of which were her real brothers and sisters. The other six were from her father's previous marriage with a woman named Malaya. Hailey got along with her older half brothers ok, but her younger sister, Allee wasn't very forgiving when it came to "leaving the family for a man." Alleeya or Allee as she was called, was only a year younger than Hailey and even now at 18, she still had a thing for the Hanson boys and had since she was at least twelve. Zac was always her favorite and when she learned that her sister was to marry him, she had a fit, but Hailey couldn't have cared any less.

"Why would they be nervous?"
"Because of Allee. You told me she's still obsessed, even after nine years."
Hailey sighed. She knew that what Zac had said was true, but she was still a little scared, she just wanted everything to turn out all right in the end. She knew Zac wanted the same thing, but he always put her first, even in these types of situations.
"She won't bother us… and if she does, I'll talk to my mom. She always knows how to take care of things like that with Allee, even she's not her real daughter."
Hailey paused.
"What happened to Malaya anyway?", Zac asked.
Hailey stared at the ground, then glance back up at him.
"She and Dad moved back to Hawaii after they got married last year… so I don't know if she'll let dad come to the wedding and walk me down the aisle."
"Oh. She's one of those controlling people, huh?"
Hailey nodded with tears in her eyes. "Yeah. She's been that way… or at least tried to be with all of us."
"Call him and see, babe."
Hailey continues to sob and shake her head. "I can't, Zac. You don't understand. If Malaya answers it, she'll just hang up on me."
"So, tell her you're someone else."
She glances at Zac with a look of uncertainty. "She knows my voice."
He puts his strong arms around her and kisses the top of her head.
"So, I answer it after you dial."
Hailey smiles and finally picks up the phone.

Kellie finally pulled into her driveway after a 12-hour day at work. She knew her kids are in bed already, but her husband might've still been up waiting for her to walk through the front door.
"Ike?"
Stepping into the king-sized living room, she noticed him lying on the couch, but he was asleep, with his strong arms gently cuddling little Madeline, who was squirming to move away from her daddy's grip.
"Hi, sweetie. You're supposed to asleep, baby. How come Daddy didn't put you to bed?"
Maddie smiled her cute baby smile and then continued to nibble on her pacifier.
"We need to get you to bed, silly."

After a few minutes, Kellie quietly made her way back downstairs to check on
Isaac. He was finally awake.
"Kellie?"
She nodded, moving over to his side of the sofa.
"Yeah. I just got home."
He glanced at her, his caramel eyes dancing and a tired smile on his lips.
"Come here."
Kellie pulled herself closer to where he sat on the sofa.
"I missed you, Kell." He said with another smile.
A soft kiss on his lips was her reply.
She smiled back at her husband.
"How was work?" He asked in a quiet tone.
"Fine. The bride seemed a little jittery, though."
Isaac laughed and reminded his wife of her own pre-nuptial jitters.
"Oh, please. Like you weren't the slightest bit nervous before your dad walked you down the aisle?"
"I never said I wasn't, Ike."
He laughed. "Yes, you did."
"Oh, I did not either."
"You were about to."
She grinned back, giving Ike a playful slap on his arm.
"Shut up."

********************

2 Months Later

"Natty!"
Taylor's wife finally appeared in front of him wearing a strawberry red gown.
"What?"
"You look beautiful, baby."
She blushed and slid her arms around his neck.
"Thank you." She whispered with a smile. "Are the kids ready?"
Taylor pulled away and nodded.
"Yep. Natalia's probably still asleep, but she's dressed."
"Her little white and red----"
"Pants and lace top, yeah."
Taylor kissed her forehead before running back upstairs to check on his little girl.
"Ezra."
"Mommy, look! I found Pooh Bear!"
Natalie gasped in surprise.
"You did? Where was he?" She asks, bending down to her son's eye level.
"Hiding under my bed. Silly old bear."
"Ohh. Come on, we have to go."
Ezra looked excited, thinking Mom and Dad taking him out for ice cream or something.
"Where are we going?"
She smiled.
"Uncle Zaccy's getting married, remember?"
"Oh, yeah!"
Natalie smiled again and nodded.
"Yeah. Tay? Are you and Natty ready?"
Taylor rushed to the front door with Natalia sound asleep on his shoulder.
"Yep. Come on, let's go. We're already late!"
Natalie couldn't help but laugh at her husband's comment.
"We've never been late before." She said with a grin.
"Okay, now you know that's not true!"

Rushing out to the car with her three-year-old son by the hand and purse over her shoulder, Natalie finally caught up, stepping into the blue Chevrolet before turning to see her husband already in the driver's seat.

"Finally ready?"
She knew he was irritated.
"Yeah. Sorry, hon."

********************

Standing in the back of the church, Zac nervously fiddled with his black tie before Ike finally helped him with it.
"It's normal to be nervous, you know."
He noddded. "Yeah, I know. I've seen it first hand… twice just in case you don't remember."
Isaac laughed. "Yeah, believe me, I remember. Taylor was practically shaking before he walked up that aisle."
"And you?" Zac said with a grin.
"Ok, we're not talking about me, here. And if you don't get this tie fixed, there might not be another wedding."
"Where are Taylor, Natty and the kids? They were supposed to be here an hour ago!"
Trying to calm his little brother down, Ike reassured him that it'll all be ok just before Taylor came bursting into the room.
"I'm here, guys. Sorry I'm late. We had a little bit of a diaper problem this morning…if you know what I mean."
Zac laughed. "Nope. Sorry, I don't. Ike might, though."
Now all three brothers were laughing just before their father appeared in the room.
"How's the groom doing so far?"

Feeling the knot in his stomach tighten, Zac stood up straight, staring at his reflection in the mirror, a boy about to become a man. He felt ready, mature, and strong enough to commit to her. "I might not be perfect," He thought to himself. "But I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"I'm fine, Dad. Let's go."

20 Minutes Later

Everyone throughout the church stood and applauded the newlyweds as they walked arm in arm, down the lilac petal strewn aisle.

Lilacs had always been Hailey's favorite and walking down that aisle with her, finally as her husband, he felt almost relieved that it was all over with, but sad too.

"We did it." She said with a smile.
Zac smiled back as his wife.
"Yeah, we did it, baby. We made it."