Time Goes On
by Chelle

~ CHAPTER 32 ~

When they came home, chaos hit the house like a tornado. For three days, everyone ran around trying to prepare. Nothing else had been said about Zac's objection to the clothes I'd worn at the baby shower and no one else seemed to know. The tour would be their first in years and high expectations had been placed on it. The album hadn't done amazingly well but better than anyone expected. The buses had been arranged and the tour was already sold out... adding stress on the guys. They wanted so much to make their fans happy and we all just hoped that everyone attending the shows would think that it had been worth the wait. The guys were putting so much thought and planning into the whole tour. They were so busy trying to make sure that everything would work out and that no one would be even slightly disappointed.
Tori, me, Taylor, Ike, Zac, an assistant, security guard and driver would travel on one bus, while another bus would carry two security guards (one driving), two road crew members and four other band members. The buses were needless to say, large. They were both nicely decorated and made to be like a home on wheels. Both had a kitchen area with microwave and fridge. The bus the guys would be on had a full bathroom, sitting area with two mounted TVs and a VCR, a full length couch and booth table, three separate bedrooms and two bunks. The other bus had two booth seats, a TV, VCR, half bath and ten bunks. The day before the tour started, with the first show planned for Little Rock, Arkansas, we packed and loaded the buses.
Finally when we had time to rest I retreated into the den. I was stretched out on the day bed when the double doors slowly opened and Taylor walked in. "Hey, I was wondering where you were hiding," he said with a smile. I grinned and said "Just looking for a place out of the chaos. Come have a seat." He nodded and sat across from me in a chair. He stretched his arms above his head then let his hands drop into his lap. "I kinda wanted to talk to you alone," he said. "Ok, go ahead,"I said. He sighed deeply and then finally spoke. "I never had a chance to tell you this. I know it might be late and I should have said it sooner but better late than never." I was lost on what he could have possibly been talking about. "Taylor, what?" I asked sitting up. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry Melissa." Now I really was confused. Why would he be apologizing? "Sorry? For what? You've never done anything to me that you need to apologize for." He looked over at me and slightly smiled. I could see a look of guilt and concern in his face. "Melissa, I feel like I am partly to blame for all the shit that happened with you and Zac, all that crap he did, and I've never told you that I was sorry. I've just been thinking about that lately and I realized that I never apologized to you." I sighed heavily as his words brought back the painful memories and the fear that I would be hurt again because of Zac's comments on the phone. "Taylor, you are in no way to blame for any of that. Why are you feeling that way?" Slowly, he stood up and walked over to sit down next to me. He turned to face me and then looked down. "I know that I said you'd be better for him than Courtney, that day at your house. I tried to pretend for so long that Zac didn't do anything to Courtney. I'd seen the bruises and I saw him get angry. I just kept thinking that there was no way my little brother could do any of that. I guess I knew in the back of my mind that it was true but I tried so hard to convince myself that it wasn't. In a way, to me, he was that goofy little Zac that used to try to fly and was always making stupid remarks in interviews. Even now, I still see him that way sometimes. I kept thinking that all he needed was someone who'd help him get over his past with Courtney. She hurt him by cheating on him and I thought that if you and him were together, you'd treat him the way he deserved and that he'd never hurt you. I was so wrong and I'm sorry that I was part of you and him getting together."
I listened to Taylor and tried to understand how he felt. To me though, I was the only one responsible for Zac and me getting together and I couldn't figure out why he would be saying he was sorry. "You didn't do anything to be sorry for. Don't feel like you hold the blame for any of it. You couldn't have known and if you had and had tried to tell me, I probably wouldn't have listened. Ike and your mom tried to warn me about how bad it would get, and so did Courtney. I never listened to any of them. Anyway, things are going great now. He's better, he got the help he needed. So don't worry because none of that is going to happen again. It's over and I really believe that this family has a bright future." He looked at me and suddenly grabbed me in a tight hug. "Well now, so here's where you both ran off to. Taylor, I swear, if you don't get your hands off my woman I'm gonna beat you from Tulsa to to the other side of Oklahoma!" Taylor let out a sigh and then pulled away from me. "Oh take a pill," he said as Zac walked closer. "Hey! You happen to be trespassing on private property!" Zac replied teasingly, pointing a finger in Taylor's face. Tay stood up and the two began playfully shoving each other and trading taunts back and forth. Then with a laugh, Zac said "Tori's looking for you." Taylor smiled and said "Alright." He walked out and closed the door. "So, you better not make a habit of getting that close to my brothers on a regular basis." Zac said as he sit next to me. "I won't, I promise." I said. "Yeah? Good, that's good," was his reply. Then he leaned down and kissed me, for the first time in nearly two days. I held the kiss as long as possible. Then he got up and walked out. I can't explain it, but I got a feeling at that moment... a terrible feeling. I had begun to notice that Zac was not even close to as affectionate as he used to be. He was distant and when he did kiss me, he always seemed to want the kiss to stop before I did. When we'd first got together, and for months after that, he'd kiss me and hold me to him... I couldn't pull away before he was ready. As a matter of fact, that's the way it had been up until he'd left for New York to promote the tour. He'd always been affectionate and loving with me, even before and after his anger would be known. Not anymore though. He seemed like he could go for days without a simple hug or kiss and I wanted him more than ever. At first, I had thought that maybe that was it, it was one of his games and he knew he was making me want to kiss him and hug him more and that maybe he got something out of breaking up a kiss or moving away from an embrace. The more I thought about it though, the more I just knew that wasn't it. Something was wrong. He was very different and I didn't like this side of him. "Melissa!" Avery called just before she opened the double doors that led to the den. "There you are," she said as she approached me. "Are you alright?" she asked. I looked up at her. "Oh, yeah, fine." I smiled. "Ok, well, we are gonna order some pizza and rent some movies. C'mon and put your order in." She offered her hand to help me up. We walked out of the den and into the living room. I, once again, put the thoughts about the changes in Zac out of my mind and resumed my happiness with the rest of the family. At times like that, I found myself looking to Taylor and Ike for signs of them noticing changes in Zac. For the last three days though, I'd gotten no signals from either of them. They both seemed to be unaware that anything was different... or they were doing a hell of a job acting.

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