Time Goes On
by Chelle

~ CHAPTER 39 ~

The next few days on the tour passed without much changing. Life and rest had become all but impossible on the bus with the tension so high. The looks that both Zac and I had been getting from Taylor said that he had been completely informed about everything. (Sometimes he didn't talk much but his eyes are always honest about what he thinks.) Zac seemed not to notice. Ike and I had decided to stop trying to keep an eye on him. We had the basics and honestly, I don't think either of us wanted to know anymore of the situation at that time. It was nearly too much fr us. Tori and Taylor were occupying themselves thinking, and talking about the baby. Tori was due in another week and she and Tay had decided on a name for each gender but were keeping it a complete secret from everyone. The idea of a new baby around brought out hope for a breath of life into the family. Diana and Walker had already begun to pick up on the fact that something terrible was going on but we'd all manged to get away with just saying that we'd talk to them when we got home. I could only imagine the worry that had set over them. Ike had taken up the habit of looking for Karen everywhere. He always seemed to be relieved but also let down when he didn't see her. Zac continued to be anxious and distant, guarding his laptop and constantly checking his e-mails and missed calls on his cell phone. Sometimes, I'd noticed, that he also seemed to be a bit sad and looked as though he was very depressed.
The night before the final show before our break, we were all on the bus, tired but no one was sleeping. Isaac had gone to bed almost immediately but the shuffling in his room let everyone know he was wide awake. Taylor and Tori were up front talking to Shelly and Dave. Mark had decided two days before that the tension was too much for him and had taken to riding on the other bus. Zac and I were in the back, reclined on the couch, watching a movie. I had tried to spend time with him whenever possible and although I was now uncomfortable doing so, I knew that changing my eagerness to be alone with him or take all of the attention that he was willing to give, would only raise his suspensions... and believe me, they were already high.
"Melissa, I'm going to ask you something and don't think about lying to me." Zac said in a hushed voice. I sat up and looked at him. "I won't lie to you." I replied shaking my head. I was a little nervous but tried hard to appear calm. "Are you and Ike sleeping together?" he asked looking straight at me. "No. Zac where did you hear..." He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. "It doesn't matter. I'm asking you and I want you to tell me the truth," he said through clenched teeth. I felt an urge to brace myself for him to hit me but I just looked at him and said. "No Zac, we're not. I would never do anything like that and neither would he." With a slight jerk, he let go of my arm and turned back toward the TV. He sighed and seemed to relax. As I laid back on the couch and tried to stop the trembling I felt inside I heard his voice, raspy and harsh but quiet. "Good. Don't ever do that to me Melissa. Don't ever think that I'll accept you being with anyone else, especially Isaac." I watched as he slowly turned and looked right into my eyes. "Because if I ever find out that you have become a whore to my brother, I'll kill you. I'll kill you before I'll let someone else have you. "His breathing was steady and he spoke calmly. As my heart sank and I began to feel a lump in my throat, he stood up and walked out. His words echoed through my mind the rest of the night and then the next day.
Throughout the next morning and early afternoon our trip continued to Kansas. Two weeks off was talked about like a month in paradise by the road crew but to the five of us, it was dreaded. Even Zac had started seeming to not be all that thrilled about a short vacation. Taylor, Tori, Ike and I knew that it would be one of a lot of conversations and explaining. Diana and Walker still had not been informed of anything and the idea of trying to tell them just plain scared us.
As the bus pulled into the arena parking lot, the guys gathered their stuff and quickly got off. Dave slowly walked up to me and Tori as we stood chatting about going home, and said softly "Melissa, Isaac asked me to give you this." He handed me a small, folded piece of paper and then sighed. "Well, I'm gonna go to the other bus and try to get some sleep.You two don't forget to lock up."We watched as he walked off and shut the door. It was just Tori and me on the bus. "Well," Tori said, "I'm gonna go on in and you just come on when you're ready alright. That may be something he only wants you to see," she said pointing to the note I was holding "and if I see your face change while you read it, I'll go crazy not knowing what it is." She smiled and picked up her purse. Then she stepped off of the bus and a small crowd began to call to her. I glanced out of the window and saw that Mark was beside her as she smiled and shook hands while laughing with the crowd and graciously accepting the flowers and cards and baby gifts. I sit down and smiled to myself as my thoughts once again drifted toward the idea of a new baby being around. I sighed and looked down at the piece of paper in my hand. I braced for what it could possibly say, although at that time, I really don't think anything would have surprised me. I slowly unfolded it and read what Isaac had written:

Mel, please meet me by the merchandise table. I have to talk to you and it's VERY important. It can't wait anymore. Don't take too long. Don't worry about Zac, I told Tay that I needed to talk to you and he's going to keep Zac busy. Please come as soon as you get inside. - Isaac.

I quickly folded the note and stuck it in my purse. Then I picked up the duffel bag and my purse. I grabbed the keys and a bottle of water and walked off of the bus, locking the door behind me. The crowd began to call me but I just smiled and waved answering their yells with "I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry." They accepted that and I walked into the arena. I made my way past the crew members and security and on to the backstage room. It was empty which surprised me but I put the bag and my purse down on the floor and then walked out. I stopped a venue security guard and asked where the merchandise was being set up. He had a deep southern drawl in his voice as he pointed down the long hallway and said "At the end, take a right, then on the left about midway there's a double door. Go through that and take the first left. Then you'll come to another double door. Through there, it's the second door on the right."
I thanked him and tried to remember his confusing directions as I walked in a fast pace. "Dammit, this is a maze filled with crazy rats!" I said out loud to myself as I walked through the chaos that was known as preparations for a Hanson concert. I finally got to the table and breathlessly asked Shelly where Ike was. "He's right over there." She said pointing to the corner across the merchandise area. "Thanks." I said. She nodded as she began to unpack some t-shirts and lay them on the table. "Ike!" I called to him as I walked over. He turned and looked at me and then sighed heavily as he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "Alright, I'm here." I said trying to catch my breath. "What's wrong?" I asked. He looked around and then pulled me out into another hall and then into a small dressing room. "Ike, what is it?" I asked. He closed the door and then said "Nothing is really wrong. I've needed to tell you this for so long. At first I was lying to myself but Tay and I talked today and even if you hate me, I have to tell you." I felt my stomach tighten. I watched as he slowly began to pace and sweat formed on his forehead. His hands trembled and he began to stutter his words so badly that I had to stop him. "Ike please calm down. I could never hate you. Now, look, c'mere. Sit down." I led him to a chair and then got him a cup if water. "Whatever it is it'll be alright. Just take some breaths and then tell me what's going on." I waited quietly as he took a few sips of the water and then finally began to breathe normally. "Now," I sighed as I put my hand on his shoulder, "What is it?" I slid myself onto the counter in front of the mirror and he leaned forward toward me. "First," he began, "I want you to know that I have tried so hard to tell you this so many times. I have thought about it and even talked to mom and dad about it once on the phone. This is, well, it's scaring the hell out of me but I'm just going to say it alright?" I nodded as worry crept over me. "I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me Melissa. You are so wonderful and have helped me so much. I really care about you." He got quiet and I began to softly laugh. He looked at me confused "What?" he asked. "That's what you've had a hard time telling me? Ike, I really care about you too but honest to God, you didn't have to make it sound so major. Don't do that. You nearly gave me a damn heart attack!" I said smiling as I slid off of the counter. I started toward the door and felt a gentle grip on my arm. I turned to face Isaac who was now stepping in front of me. Without even another word or warning he leaned closer to me. I slowly backed away but found that I was between him and the wall. "Ike, what are you..." Those were the only words I could say before I felt his lips touch mine.He stiffened for a moment as did I.However he relaxed quickly but I remained tense. I couldn't move. The second our mouths met, my body locked and I was frozen. He moved his mouth over mine but never once did our tongues meet. I felt an electricity go through my whole body from my face to my feet and back up again. The kiss lasted maybe fifteen to thirty seconds and was so uneasy that my mind could barely register what was happening. Then, as quickly as it began, he ended it. He pulled back and stood staring at me for a few seconds. Neither of us spoke, nor did we move toward each other again. He suddenly said "I'm sorry" and walked out before I could respond. I leaned there against the wall for what seemed like hours but was only a minute or two. My heart felt like it would come out of my chest and my mind was blurred. I was having a hard time catching my breath and I felt a slight weakness to my legs when I did try to walk and had to hold the wall for support. I walked out and saw that no one was in the hall. Then Shelly came out of the merchandise room and said "Melissa, what happened to you? You're pale. You're shaking. My God, did someone attack you?" Shaking my head and smiling was the only answer I could give. She looked at me and then said "C'mon, Taylor has sent out for pizza." I smiled again and nodded. I didn't think it was possible, but the whole situation had just become worse... or at least more confusing.

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