Time Goes On
by Chelle

~ CHAPTER 44 ~

Courtney sat with her legs crossed in the chair, one arm laid over her knee and the other bent where her chin was resting in her palm. The room was so quiet. It had been that way for about fifteen minutes while we all tried to think of some way to start the conversation. Courtney had been surprised to see us but had invited us in and offered us something to drink. We'd all sat in the living room and things had come to stand still. Finally, dropping her hand down and casually looking at her nails, Courtney spoke. "I really don't know what you all want me to say." Her head lifted and she raised her eyebrows as she looked around the room. "Tell us what happened. Tell us about the baby." Walker said. Isaac added "And then you can tell us how Karen got involved." Courtney smiled a bit and pointed toward Joshua. She said "He looks a lot like you in your baby pictures Tay." Taylor glanced at her and then turned toward Tori, who was sitting in the rocking chair holding the baby. "Yeah, several people have told us that," he replied. "Please Courtney, you have to tell us what happened. Zac is not doing so good and we have to know how to help him. We need you to tell us everything." Tori said. "I don't know where to start." Courtney replied as she uncrossed her legs and brought one foot up under the opposite knee. "You can start by telling us our grandchild's name." Diana said. "Bryce. His name is Bryce Zachary Hanson. He is almost six months old now." Courtney answered as Walker put his arm around his wife. "He's in daycare right now but you are more than welcome to see him. I want you all to be a part of his life." Courtney said as she slowly began running her fingers through the ends of her hair. "Tell us what happened Courtney. You have to tell us the whole story." Walker said. Courtney sighed heavily and began to rub her forehead. "I didn't want this. I didn't want any of it to happen and I certainly didn't want to hide anything from anyone." She then turned toward Ike. "Karen never meant to hurt anyone either. She got caught up in it kind of by accident and she wanted to tell you all but Zac was so insistent on no one finding out until he thought it was the right time. He kept promising that he would tell you all soon and that everything would be fine." Isaac lowered his head and asked "How did you and Zac even get together?" Courtney looked at him and then looked down at her hands. "He e-mailed me. I was surprised but it was a nice e-mail. He said he was just checking up on me. It was a while ago. I e-mailed him back and it just kinda became a regular thing. We were just talking and then it went to online chats. We'd just have casual conversations at first. Then, one night, he called me out of the blue. We talked on the phone every night for a few days then he asked me to meet him." She sighed and looked at me. "He told me that you and him weren't as close as you had been and that he was almost certain you were seeing someone else and that all of you were helping to cover it up. He said he felt like his whole family was against him." She then looked back down and continued. "I honestly don't know why. We met two more times after that. That last time, we were talking and we just started kissing and then, I don't know, one thing led to another and we went to this roadside motel and..." she slightly shook her head. "Anyway, afterwards, the e-mails and conversations got shorter and within a week, they'd stopped altogether. He seemed to forget about me. I'd found out I was pregnant but I was so scared that I never told him. Then you guys went to New York. I didn't know what to do. I didn't tell anyone for about five months. I wasn't sure who to tell. I thought that if I told any of you, things would get ruined somehow and that everyone would hate me." I glanced around the room and saw the sympathetic expressions that Diana and Tori had on their faces. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her too. I also couldn't help the anger that I felt or the sense of betrayal. I looked back at her as she went on. "Karen and I had stayed in touch. I thought that she would be less likely to be angry so I called her. She and I talked a lot and she kept telling me that I'd have to tell him. I kept saying no and finally she said that she was giving me another week to tell him or she would find you guys and tell him herself. She helped me get a flight to go see Zac so I could tell him. I was seven months along when I finally got the nerve." Taylor leaned forward. "That's when I saw you, at the hotel." Courtney nodded. "I guess so. I was only there for one night." Tori turned toward Taylor. "You told me you saw her. You never mentioned she was pregnant." Taylor shrugged.  "I never could have imagined what has taken place since then. It never crossed my mind that Zac was the father. I mean, I was trying too hard to figure out why she was even there to think about anything else." Courtney laughed. "I guess that was a surprise." She sighed heavily and readjusted herself in the chair. "Anyway," she continued on, "He took me to his hotel room and, oh God, he was so mad at me. He told me that I must be crazy and that it was the biggest mistake I could have made even coming there. I started crying and told him how scared I was. He said for me not to worry 'cause he would take care of me. I told him I wasn't ready for a baby. I begged him to give it up for adoption but he got really angry and started screaming. He told me to come back to Tulsa and that he would find a way to take care of everything." Diana reached over and took my hand as I felt tears in my eyes. Courtney said "I never wanted to hurt anybody. I didn't know it would cause so much trouble." She began to cry and Tori leaned over and rubbed her back. "It's alright," she said soothingly. Courtney wiped the tears away from her face. "Well, I knew I'd have a hard time so I called Karen when I got back. She didn't want to get involved. She came back to Tulsa to help me find a lawyer. I was going to see if I could give the baby up for adoption without Zac's permission. Karen stayed the night and planned on leaving the next morning. That night, I was having cramps. They only lasted for a few minutes and it didn't seem to be that big of a deal so I just went back to sleep. The next morning, though, I woke up and I was bleeding. Karen drove me to the hospital and the doctor said they had to deliver the baby then. He was born two months early but he was fine. I couldn't even think about giving him up once I saw him." Diana took a tissue out of the box on the table and dabbed at her eyes. "I had a fever the next day and Karen stayed with me. Then when I got to come home she stayed to help with the baby. I e-mailed Zac and told him and I also told him that you all needed to know but he kept saying no, that it wasn't the right time and for me to keep my mouth shut. He kept saying how if people found out that it would ruin everything." She began to cry again and Diana went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water as Walker handed her the tissue box. We all sat silent and, although it was hard to hear, it was nice to have more of the story. None of us really reacted for a few minutes. Diana looked at Courtney. "Honey, has Zac ever seen the baby? Are you just sending Karen with pictures and he's sending her back with money?" Courtney took a deep breath. He's seen the baby a couple of times, yes. Very briefly. Karen has arranged meetings here and there. I've stayed in Tulsa. Karen gets the money from him and brings it to me. We pay the bills, get groceries, take care of the baby. I send him pictures just so he'll have them. He's been really good about taking care of us and things are going alright." We all sat stunned as slowly things began to fall into place. "So Karen's in Tulsa?" Ike asked. "Yeah, she moved back almost 4 months ago," Courtney replied. "Where is she living?" Tori asked her. Courtney didn't have to answer. We heard footsteps on the porch and a key in the door. We glared at each other and a tenseness came over us all.
"I swear, I've never seen the store so crowded! It's like Christmas Eve or something! Courtney, could you get the other two bags out of the..." Karen stopped mid-sentence, frozen in her tracks. She had put the grocery bags she'd been carrying down, taken her jacket off and laid her purse on the small table by the door before she'd ever turned and faced us. "Oh my God." she said quietly as she stared at us. She glared at Courtney and said "I thought we decided not to do this. I thought you and Zac talked about..." she was interrupted by Courtney's wide eyes and then her face dropping into her hands. Karen put her hands on her hips and looked around the room. "So Zac did talk to you about this. What did he say? Did he threaten you?" Walker asked. Courtney looked up. "No, no, he didn't. He left a message on my machine the other day saying that he needed to talk to me and for me to call him back right away. He told me that I didn't need to tell anyone and not to worry about anything because he would tell all of you." Karen spoke softly "We didn't mean for this to cause any trouble. Zac said that he'd tell you all everything. He said he'd have to tell Melissa 'cause she already knew anyway." Everyone turned and looked at me. "I didn't know. I swear. What would make him say that?" I asked. Courtney answered "The pictures." I looked at her. "What?" Diana's hand grabbed my wrist as Karen replied "He said that you'd seen the pictures. The ones I gave him of the baby." A familiar and sudden fear came over me as everyone once again became quiet and tense. "Shit." Ike whispered. "Mom, dad, I think we need to get home and talk to Zac." Taylor said as he and Tori took each other's hands. "Yes, I think so too. I think Courtney and Karen have told us all they can." Diana said slowly standing up. We all stood and began to pull our jackets on and prepare to leave. "I'm sorry. Please tell him I'm sorry." Courtney said with tears in her eyes. Diana nodded and hugged her. "We'd like to see the baby." Walker said. Courtney smiled and said "That'd be nice. Just give me a call." He smiled and with a single glance and nod to Karen, he walked out followed by Taylor and Tori. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you." Karen said as Ike stepped in front of her. "It's alright. I know." Ike said and after a brief moment, he walked outside. "I'm so, so sorry Melissa." Courtney said quietly as she hugged me. "Me too." I whispered. Diana and I smiled at Karen and quickly walked out. They watched as Walker carefully backed out of the driveway and pulled out onto the street.
The drive home was quiet except for the slight noise from Joshua once in a while or Diana sniffing. I felt tears burning my eyes but I didn't let them fall. Taylor was holding Tori's hand and both of them had their heads laid back on the seats. I glanced at Ike but knew that as bad as I wanted to, reaching out to him wasn't a good idea. His face was pale and he was so still and quiet that if his eyes hadn't have been open I would've thought he was dead. After what seemed like hours, we were home. "Looks like Zac and the kids aren't back yet." Walker said as he turned the key and the minivan shut off. It was a relief to us as we walked into the house. Things were peaceful at the time but I think we all wanted to get the whole thing over with. Tori carried Joshua upstairs and put him in his crib. When she came back down she sat next to Taylor on the couch. Diana went into the kitchen for a moment and when she walked back into the living room, she said "Well, I've got coffee started. Maybe I can call Mary Lynn, down the street, and see if she can have the kids over tomorrow. I know we need to find out everything now but I think we've had enough for today. It's almost supper time and I know all of you are tired. I am too. So why don't we just start fresh tomorrow." We all agreed. No one really said much as we waited for Zac and the others to get home.
I was feeling an emotional roller coaster. I was angry, hurt, worried, scared and lost all at the same time. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I felt a squeeze on my knee and when I opened my eyes, Ike's face told me that his feelings weren't much different than my own. I reached down an took his hand. We all raised up and looked at each other when we heard the sound of the car door and the chattering as they came closer. The door opened and they walked in. Diana put on a smile and said "Did you all have a good time?" Jessica and Avery went into the story of all the things they had done and began showing their new clothes to all of us. We all glanced at each other and smiled. The girls had succeeded in talking Zac into a shopping trip. Avery had gotten a pair of jeans with jewels on the pockets, a shirt and a necklace. Jessica had two shirts, a pair of earrings and a pair of fishnet stockings. Mac showed off his new haircut and cowboy boots. Walker looked up as the door opened again and he began to slightly laugh. Diana asked "Honey, do you want some help?" with a snicker. We all turned to see Zac shutting the door with his foot, carrying at least four other shopping bags and trying to keep his balance with Zoe sleeping on his shoulder. "Naw, I'm alright," he said, sounding out of breath. "And I want to thank the three of you for not even leaving the front door open for me after you all bolted away from the car carrying only one bag," he said glancing at his younger siblings with a sarcastic smile. "You're welcome," Jessica replied. She and Zac stuck their tongues out at each other and laughed. "I'm gonna put her to bed and let her sleep for a bit longer," Zac said walking up the stairs. "Alright sweetie. Well, I guess we need to get supper on." Diana stood up and continued. "Tori, Melissa, could you two chop those vegetables on the bottom shelf of the fridge." Tori and I got up and started toward the kitchen. Avery and Jessica picked up the bags Zac had dropped by the door. "Jessica!" Diana yelled. "I want to talk to you later about those pantyhose with all those holes in them. "The room filled with laughter as Diana threw her hands up in the air and said "Now I ask you all, what is the point of buying something like that?" We all laughed again. "You two go wash up and then come set the table." Walker said as Diana, Tori and me walked into the kitchen. Diana took out a big pot and began peeling potatoes as she hummed Amazing Grace. Once again we put our uneasiness aside. Things would have seemed to be normal to anyone else. Even Mac and Zoe thought that everything was fine. God, we'd put on a good show for those kids. I had decided though that if we waited until the next day, it wouldn't be any easier... I'd have to at least talk to Zac that night about the pictures if nothing else.

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