Searching for Home: Chapter 12

Rating: PG
Warnings: Deals a little with death, has some drinking in it. Some curse words, violence and sex, but nothing gory or graphic.

“I just can’t stop thinking about it.” Brianna said. “I just keep thinking how scared she must have been. All these years I’ve spent hating my mother, and now I find out that not only is she dead but look what she went through. God, I have to be the most horrible person in the world to hate her the way I have.”

Searching for Home
by Chelle & Nikki

Chapter 12

“I just can’t stop thinking about it.” Brianna said. “I just keep thinking how scared she must have been. All these years I’ve spent hating my mother, and now I find out that not only is she dead but look what she went through. God, I have to be the most horrible person in the world to hate her the way I have.”

“Brianna, you are not horrible!” Taylor said sitting down next to her. “You had no idea what all had happened, and anybody would wonder why their mother had walked away from them. You can’t feel guilty especially since there’s no way you could have known about any of this.” Taylor gently pulled Brianna into his arms and for a couple of hours they sat on his couch.

Taylor had personally thought it was best for Brianna to go back to her apartment and face her new found family. He wanted her to build something with them. He wanted her to know about her mother. However he wasn’t willing to make her do something that she felt she wasn’t ready to do.

And she in no way felt ready. She wanted to stay there, on Taylor’s couch, in his arms for the rest of her life. She couldn’t believe that her mother was dead. She had begun to feel so guilty for the way she’d felt about her mother and the rest of her family. Still, she had no desire to see any of them again.

At the same time though, she wanted to know about her mom. She had a new interest in her mother’s life. Brianna wanted to know who her mother was and whatever she was going to find out, she’d have to learn from Tom and Sheila and Lynn… they were her connections to her mother.

She didn’t want to go back just yet. Her comfort level with Taylor had grown and she wanted to be with him now. He was trying his best to comfort her and make her feel better about everything. She did a little bit. She felt safe with him and he was helping her as best as anyone could… perhaps even better.

“Taylor, I don’t want to go back right now. I’m just not ready. I know that this may seem like the wrong thing to do, seeing as how we really haven’t known each other that long but would it be all right if I slept here on the couch tonight?”

“No, Brianna. It wouldn’t be all right if you slept on the couch tonight.” Taylor said seriously. Brianna glared at him for just a second or two until Taylor started to laugh. “If there’s one thing that my mother taught me that I still remember, it’s how to be a gentleman.” Taylor said. “I’ll sleep on the couch. You sleep in my bed.”

“Thank you.” Brianna said with a smile.

“I can give you some sweat pants and a t-shirt to sleep in.” Taylor said standing up.

“Thanks.” Brianna replied. “I’m just gonna wash my makeup off. ”

“Bathroom’s right down that hall.”

“Taylor, you think I should go back tonight don’t you?”

“I don’t think you should do anything until you’re ready.”

“But you’d advise me to go back and talk to them?”

“I’d advise you to get in there and wash your face so that we can get some sleep.” They both laughed and Brianna walked into the bathroom.

She took off her jewelry and washed her face. She took her hair down and ran her fingers through it. She was really tired and wasn’t going to bother brushing it. She walked out and met Taylor in the hall carrying a couple of blankets and a pillow out of his bedroom. “Gosh you look different.” He said.

“So do you.” Brianna replied with a nod toward him.

Taylor realized that he stood before her barefoot, in pajama pants and no shirt, with a pillow under one arm and the blankets under the other. “Oh, I guess I do.” He said with a laugh.

Brianna noticed how his face turned a little red, although she didn’t let him know she had.

“Um, the sweat pants and a t-shirt are on the bed. Make yourself comfortable. You know where the bathroom and kitchen are. Whatever you need, just help yourself and if you need me, I’ll be right in here.” Taylor said.

“Thank you.” Brianna said as she went into his room and closed the door.

Taylor walked into the living room and made his bed on the couch. Brianna quickly changed into the gray sweat pants and dark blue t-shirt. They were big on her and comfortable. She folded her clothes and laid them on the chair by the bed.

Taylor’s room was fairly big. He had a four poster oak bed with tan sheets. On one side of the bed was a nightstand. It had a lamp, a clock and a few papers that looked like they had songs written on them. There was also a small framed picture of a little girl. She was sitting on Taylor’s car holding a white teddy bear. Beside it was another framed picture of Taylor’s mother and a man Brianna assumed to be his father. They were standing with their arms around each other both smiling broadly. Brianna turned over onto her side and stared at the small trinkets and pictures that lined the shelf. Pictures of Taylor’s family. She turned over and laid on her back. The king size bed was a lot better than her own full size and as tired as she was… more mentally than physically… she was sound asleep before a full five minutes had passed.

“Awful. It was really bad man. I didn’t know if she was going to be able to stand it. She was so tired last night.”

Brianna finally opened her eyes at the sound of the voices.

“I can’t believe it. What an ordeal.”

“She must have really been a wreck.”

Brianna rubbed her eyes and listened closely until she was finally able to recognize the voices as Isaac and Zac and then Taylor.

“Yeah she was. Man, I don’t know how she kept from falling apart any more than she actually did.” Taylor said.

Brianna eased out of bed and walked over to where she had laid her clothes. She stopped suddenly when she heard a lady’s voice.

“Your fridge is bare Taylor. Just what is it that you expect to feed that poor girl?”

“Here.” Isaac said. “The store down the street should be open. Go get some stuff for breakfast. What does she eat Tay?”

“I don’t really know what she’d want.” Taylor answered.

“Should I just get doughnuts and juice?” The lady asked.

“No, just get some take out for right now. I need to do some grocery shopping later anyway.” Taylor answered.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Don’t worry about us. We have to leave in a minute.” another girl said.

“All right.” The first one replied.

Brianna heard the quiet beep from the alarm signaling that the door was open (Something Taylor had installed when Trixie learned to opened the door he’d told Brianna.)

“She’s not going to want to go back there if she by chance decides that she don’t want to talk to them anymore.” Zac said.

“I know. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t though.” Taylor replied.

“Me either. Gosh, this is kind of weird.” Ike said.

Brianna slowly pulled her clothes on and straightened the blankets on the bed. She folded up the sweat pants and t-shirt and laid them at the end of the bed.

“Well what are you going to do if she doesn’t want to see them again?” Zac asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I guess I’m hoping she’ll decide to go back.” Taylor said.

“Well just be there for her and support her decision whatever it is.” the girl said.

Brianna reached into her purse and pulled out a rubber band. She pulled her hair back into somewhat of a messy pony tail and eased the door open. She made her way into the kitchen where Isaac and Taylor stood by the island in the middle, and Zac and Stacy were seated at the table.

All of them glanced up when she said “Good Morning.”

Taylor smiled “Good morning.” He pulled out a stool by the island and gestured for Brianna to sit down. She smiled and slid up onto the stool.

“How are you?” Isaac asked.

“I’m fine. I mean, I’m a little stressed but I’m all right.” Brianna answered.

“Brianna I just want to say that we’re sorry you are going through this. I hope you know that we are here if you need to talk about anything.” Stacy said.

“Thanks Stacy.” Brianna replied.

Ike said “I wish we could make this easier on you.”

Brianna smiled and replied, “Thanks Ike.”

“Lisa went to get something to eat. We don’t really have anything here at the moment but there’s coffee.” Taylor said.

“There’s some chocolate syrup and some milk too.” Zac added with a smile, taking a drink of chocolate milk.

Brianna laughed as Ike rolled his eyes and took another sip of his coffee. “Coffee’s fine, thanks.” Brianna said.

Taylor poured a cup and set it down in front of her. He handed her a spoon and the sugar. “You want some milk for it. Sorry I don’t have any creamer.” Taylor said.

“No this is fine.” Brianna answered.

“Listen Bri, I know that you’re dealing with a lot right now, and I know that you’ll need some time. I just want you to know that you can take as much time off of work as you need. We’re not going to be very busy for a while anyway.” Isaac said.

“Yeah, it’ll just be mainly recording.” Zac added.

“Baby, if we’re going to help your mom we need to get back.” Stacy said.

“Mmm, I guess so. We’re gonna head back home.” Zac said standing up. “Listen, you take some time off and get this worked out.” Zac said putting his hand on Brianna’s shoulder.

“Thank you Zac.”

Stacy smiled and said “Call if you need to talk.”

Brianna nodded and they waved at Ike and Taylor who said “Bye” at the same time. Zac and Stacy walked out and closed the door.

Brianna stirred her coffee and took a sip. “Guys, I was thinking maybe I can take a few days and go to Georgia.” Taylor suddenly looked up and he and Ike exchanged glances. “I want to go see if I can find that Pam Richmond that my mother stayed with. I think it might do some good to get the story from her.”

“Are you sure you should do that?” Taylor asked. “Maybe you should try to call her first. She may not even live in the state anymore.”

“I know that but I think I should go and try to talk to her face to face. And I thought I could see about getting some more information from my foster parents.”

“But Brianna what if you can’t find them? It’d be such a big disappointment wouldn’t it? Why don’t you just stay here and try to contact them by phone or something. It wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t make the trip all the way there and then have to come back empty handed.” Isaac said.

“No, I think I need to go. Taylor, can you take me back home to get my stuff together?”

“You’re leaving today?!”

“The sooner the better.” Brianna said walking into the living room. She stood looking out of the window for a few minutes and then sat down on the couch. Her mind raced with what she was going to do but she knew it would be a good way to find out about her mother while she lived away from home. She glanced up when the door opened.

“Hi! You’re Brianna aren’t you?” the lady said closing the door behind her.

“Uh huh.” Brianna smiled.

“I’m Lisa, Isaac’s wife.”

Brianna and Lisa shook hands as Taylor and Isaac walked slowly into the room.

“Oh no thanks boys I got this stuff. Don’t help at all.” Lisa said walking to the kitchen.

“Don’t be a smartass.” Ike said with a grin as he took a bag from her.

“I hope everyone likes McDonald’s breakfast… Stacy and Zac are gone?”

“Yep they left just a few minutes ago.” Isaac answered.

Lisa put her hands on her hips and sighed “Oh well, more for us.” She and Ike walked back into the kitchen.

Taylor smiled and then turned to Brianna. “Bri I wish you wouldn’t…”

“I have to Taylor. I just have to. Now, I want to go and talk to Lynn and see if they know anything about Pam and I want to find out where my mother is buried.”

“All right, I’ll throw on some clothes and then we can leave. Go get some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry. I’ll wait for you. Just hurry up.”

Taylor sighed and walked into his room. Brianna went into the kitchen and poured the rest of her coffee in the sink.

Isaac and Lisa sat at the table eating and Isaac asked, “Brianna, are you sure about going.”

“I have to go. It’s the only way for me to find out. No one’s going to tell me anything over the phone. I’ll just end up having to go anyway so I’m just cutting out the middle man.”

“Well, all I can say is good luck. You know that we’re here if you ever need anything right?” Brianna nodded.

Taylor walked into the kitchen and said “Okay let’s get this over with.”

Ike slapped him on the back and then hugged Brianna.
Lisa said, “It was very nice to meet you finally and have a safe trip.”

“Thanks guys.” Brianna said. “See you in a few days. Come on Taylor.”

Taylor raised his eyebrows at Ike and sighed. “Don’t forget to lock up if you leave before I get back.”

Isaac nodded and replied “See you after while.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t go but if you’re determined, just let me come with you.” Taylor said handing Brianna her travel hairspray.

“You need to work and I’ll only be gone a few days.” Brianna replied as she put the hairspray into the bag.

They were standing her bedroom and Taylor was doing his best trying to get her to not go or to let him go too. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to go to Georgia, it was that he knew he’d go crazy with her gone. A little selfish indeed but he’d grown to like her more than he had planned.

For him, their arrangement to stay friends for the time was quickly sounding like a bad idea. With everything she had been through though, he hadn’t mentioned anything about him changing his mind. She was the sweetest and most beautiful girl he’d ever met and he knew that he’d have to tell her that at some point. He just didn’t know how. He didn’t want her to feel pressure but he also knew that Brianna Dennison was the only girl he wanted.

“I guess that’s it.” Brianna said as she and Taylor glanced at each other. Brianna saw almost a pleading in his eyes that confused her. She couldn’t understand why he was trying so hard to get her not to go. She set the small zipper bag in the suitcase and zipped it closed.

“Will you at least wait until tomorrow?”

“What’s going to be different about tomorrow?”

“I just think you’re going too fast with this. Just wait please. You can leave in the morning.”

“Well, Taylor. It’s not going to be any easier tomorrow. What’s going on? You know how important it is that I find out about my mom. You have to know. Why don’t you want me to do that?”

“I do know. And I want you to learn all you can about your mom. It’s not that I don’t want you to. I just… I think it’d be better if you took this a little slower. This is a lot to handle Brianna. I just don’t want you to overload yourself is all. Just wait. You can talk to Lynn this afternoon and then leave in the morning.”

“Well, I guess. I still don’t see what’s going to be different tomorrow morning but in a way you have a point. I mean I have to talk to Lynn before I go and get as much as I can from her. If my mom is buried around here, I’d also like to go to her grave. And for whatever reason you’re so uptight about me leaving for a few days, maybe you’ll feel better about it if I wait until tomorrow. Okay, I’ll leave in the morning.”

Taylor stepped close to her and put his arms around her waist. “Thank you.” he whispered.

Brianna just shook her head with a sigh. “Listen, I’ll go pick us up some breakfast and then you and I can go talk to Lynn after we eat, okay?”

“Ok Taylor.” Brianna replied with a slight laugh.
Taylor smiled and then walked out.

Brianna sat on the bed trying to think of what it was that made Taylor want her to stay. She had given in simply because it seemed to be so important to him that she stay for another day. She was just going to be gone a few days for goodness sakes! What was bothering him so much about it? She knew something was going on with Taylor. However, it was obvious that she wasn’t going to find out because he’d avoided her questions and she didn’t want to push. It seemed to her that, for whatever reason, he wasn’t going to tell.

*Chapter 11 / Chapter 13*
*Go Back to Chapters Index*

This fictional story is hosted
at The Gifted Ones
with permission from Chelle.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Comment